


so pure you can hardly taste it

by theglitterati



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Humor, Vomiting, enemies to slightly-less enemies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theglitterati/pseuds/theglitterati
Summary: JJ gets drunk for the first time after the GPF in Barcelona. Yuri and Otabek are stuck dealing with him.
Relationships: Jean-Jacques Leroy & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin & Jean-Jacques Leroy, Otabek Altin & Jean-Jacques Leroy & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	so pure you can hardly taste it

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Facebook" by Passenger.
> 
> Just a note: this is intended to take place the day after the banquet at the GPF (so about two days after the end of canon). The skaters deciced to go out for round two on their last night in the city.

The door in front of JJ was spinning, which made it a lot harder to knock on than usual. He did his best, closing one eye to aim. His fist hit the wall instead a few times, but he heard footsteps coming from inside the room soon enough.

What was supposed to be a fun night out bonding with the other skaters after the Grand Prix Final had turned into his first time getting drunk — ever. Now, back at the hotel after spending too much money on a taxi, he was afraid to go back to his own room. Hence, the knocking. The door swung open, and suddenly JJ was looking down at a tiny, blond head.

Yuri Plisetsky glared up at him. “No,” he said simply, and started to close the door.

“Wait, Yuri.” Otabek Altin stepped out from behind him, pushing the door open wider. He inspected JJ’s face. “Are you drunk?”

“I believe so,” JJ said pleasantly.

“You ‘believe so?’’ Yuri said. “You reek of vodka.”

“Can you help me?” JJ asked.

“No,” Yuri said, and the same time Otabek asked, “With what?”

“I need a place to hide, from my parents and from Izzy.”

“Why?”

JJ looked left and right down the hall, making sure no one was lurking around, eavesdropping. Then, he said very loudly, “Because drinking is a sin.”

Yuri burst out laughing. “Whole country of Russia’s going to hell, then. If you needed a place to hide, why the hell would you come to my room?”

JJ frowned. “I thought this was Otabek’s room.”

“Mine’s next door,” Otabek said.

“We were just hanging out,” Yuri said, strangely defensive. Or was it strange? JJ was too drunk to tell.

“Please just let me in,” JJ begged.

Yuri looked at him, then at Otabek. “Do we have to?”

“Yes,” Otabek confirmed. He opened the door all the way so JJ could stagger in. Yuri gave him a wide berth, as though JJ’s drunkenness was contagious. It took him a few tries to get his shoes off, but he managed, though he did stumble immediately after, making Otabek catch him before he hit the floor.

“Go sit on the bed,” Otabek ordered him. “I’ll get you some water.”

“Not that one!” Yuri yelled, as JJ made for one of the two beds in the room. “That’s the one I’m sleeping in, asshole.”

“Sorry.” JJ climbed onto the other bed, pulling clothes off as he went. He lost his suit jacket, then his tie. Why was it so hot in here?

Otabek returned with a glass of water. JJ drank it greedily; he had never felt so thirsty in his life. He sent Otabek back for another as soon as he was done.

“How much did you drink?” Yuri asked him. “You look hammered.”

“Dunno…” JJ said, slurring his words. “I had a beer to relax, and then another one, and then everybody was doing shots… you guys were there, you saw.”

“No we weren’t,” Otabek said.

“What?”

“We didn’t go to the bar,” Yuri said. “Otabek doesn’t drink, and I’m not old enough.”

“You weren’t there? I really thought you were…” Honestly, his memory of the whole night was getting fuzzier by the minute. “This feels so weird.”

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Yuri muttered to Otabek, though JJ could definitely still hear him. To JJ, he said, “Have you never been drunk before?”

“No.” JJ shook his head vigorously. “I told you, drinking is a sin. God, Izzy is gonna be so mad at me.”

“Why did you drink, then, if you hate it so much?” Yuri asked.

“Everyone else was doing it?” Otabek suggested.

“No,” JJ said. “Well, yeah, everyone else was doing it — Katsuki was stripping again, he was so smashed — but I just felt kind of anxious being there. The other skaters don’t seem to like me very much. I was surprised they even invited me. So I felt awkward, and then someone bought a pitcher of beer, and I had some and then I started feeling better.” He was aware that he was talking too much, but he couldn’t stop. Actually, he didn’t want to stop! It felt good, to get it all out there.

“They let you go home alone like this?” Otabek asked.

“Yeah, I told them I was calling a cab and they all said goodnight.”

Otabek and Yuri shared a look. “Jesus,” Yuri said.

“Maybe you should go back to your room,” Otabek suggested. “You need to get some sleep.”

“Nah, let him stay here,” Yuri said.

“Really?” JJ and Otabek said at the same time.

“Yeah, whatever. He’s annoying, but I’m not going to tell on him to Mommy and Daddy. That’s something Nikiforov would do. I’m not going to be a snitch.”

Otabek just shrugged. “If you say so.”

“Thank you, Yuri,” JJ gushed. “That is so nice of you. That is, like, honestly, very JJ-style of you—”

“Do not say those words in my hotel room!”

“—and I’m sorry for calling you a lady sometimes,” JJ continued. “I don’t even really know why that’s supposed to be funny? I guess because you look a bit like a lady, you know, with your hair. But it’s not nice to use ‘lady’ as an insult. Izzy would get mad at me if she knew—”

Yuri stood up and clamped a hand over JJ’s mouth. “Shut. Up. Or I swear, I will call your fiancée and drag her in here to see you!”

“Sorry,” JJ stage-whispered. He put a finger to his lips, signalling that he would be quiet. Otabek rolled his eyes. “Just pretend I’m not here.”

“That will be hard if you keep talking!”

Yuri and Otabek went back to what they must have been doing before JJ came in: watching a TV show on Yuri’s laptop. Yuri hit play, starting an episode in the middle. JJ pulled out his phone, but he was too nervous to click on anything. Plus, whatever they were watching sounded more interesting. “What show is that?” 

“Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” Otabek said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

JJ paused for a moment. “What’s it about?”

“Jesus Christ!” Yuri yelled. “Just come watch it already if it will shut you up!”

JJ happily joined them. Making room for him on the double bed was difficult — Yuri was small, but JJ and Otabek weren’t. They ended up squished together with Otabek in the middle.

The show was funny — the guy from “I’m On A Boat” was in it; JJ loved that video — but it was hard to pay attention. Even though he had taken off his coat, JJ felt like the room was still getting hotter. It was also still spinning. Plus, his mouth felt weirdly… watery.

“I don’t feel good,” JJ tried to say, but it came out more as a mumble. He followed that up with a loud burp.

Otabek grabbed the laptop and lunged away from him, ending up splayed across Yuri’s lap. “Go to the bathroom right now,” he said seriously.

He was about to argue — nobody tells King JJ what to do! — but another burp came out.

“Go!!”

He obeyed that time, though he wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do in there. Instead of trying to figure it out, he just did what felt right: he sat down in the bathtub, fully clothed. Immediately, he felt better. The porcelain was so nice and cold!

He had left the door open, and he could hear Yuri and Otabe arguing outside.

“He’s _your_ friend!”

“I’m sorry, I really cannot do vomiting. Even saying the word makes me feel sick.”

“You ride a motorcycle and you’re afraid of JJ puking!?”

“Yes, I am.”

There was a pause. “God, fine. You owe me!” Yuri joined JJ in the bathroom. “Nope, not in my tub! Get out!”

“But it feels so good,” JJ protested.

“You’ll make it worse by waiting,” Yuri said. “Just stick your fingers down your throat and get it over with.” Music went on outside the bathroom, turned up a little too loud for a hotel room after midnight, and definitely too loud for JJ’s sensitive, drunk ears.

Yuri grabbed his arm and tried to pull him from the tub. “Come on, you’ll feel better.”

“Nooo,” JJ moaned. “Please don’t make me.”

“Come on!” Yuri pulled again, with surprising strength this time, and JJ tumbled over the edge of the bath, and that did it. 

“Oh god,” JJ mumbled. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“No shit,” Yuri muttered. He lifted the toilet seat and shoved JJ’s head in just in time.

It was awful, and gross, and JJ was pretty sure he was crying from the effort of it. He felt sweaty all over but freezing, like when he got a fever. Small hands carded into his hair and held it back while he retched. When he stopped for breath, Yuri flushed for him, but he wasn’t done, and the whole production started all over again.

It took some time, but finally he got it all out. He collapsed back against the tub.

“Here.” Yuri passed him a tube of toothpaste. “I don’t have an extra toothbrush.” JJ accepted it silently, squeezing a dollop of it onto his finger and using that to clean his mouth. He spat the toothpaste into the toilet. And then suddenly there was a cool, wet cloth being pressed to his face, wiping away the sweat and tears and probably some vomit, too. It felt incredible after what he’d just been through. He saw Yuri Plisetsky’s blond mane behind the cloth, and wondered vaguely if he was dreaming.

“All done,” Yuri said after a few minutes. “Better now?”

JJ nodded. The room’s spinning had slowed, and his stomach was no longer threatening to jump out through his mouth.

“Good. You want to get back in the bathtub?”

“No,” JJ said. “I wanna sleep.” Throwing up had really taken it out of him.

“Okay.” Yuri helped him to his feet and dragged him out of the bathroom. Otabek was waiting for them outside. At some point, the music had stopped. 

“I got you some crackers from the vending machine.” Otabek pointed to a package on the nightstand. “Don’t try to eat them yet, though. Have some water instead.” He handed JJ a new glass, and JJ drank it gratefully.

“Bedtime now,” Yuri said. JJ clumsily stripped off the rest of his clothes, which had been uncomfortable even before they were doused in sweat. “Leave your underwear on, at least!” 

“Pssh.” JJ crawled under the covers. “You wish I’d take them off.”

“Well, he sounds back to normal,” Otabek said. It was the last thing JJ heard before he fell asleep.

***

JJ woke up to bright sunlight, a dry mouth, and a headache from hell. 

“Ugh,” he managed to say.

“You’re awake,” Otabek said.

“Morning, asshole!” Yuri screamed. Or at least it felt like he was screaming. “You’re not going to throw up again, are you?”

JJ took stock of his stomach. “Don’t think so.” He looked around. “What time is it?”

“Almost nine,” Otabek told him.

“Ugh,” he said again. His family would be wondering where he was by now. He had to check out soon, then get on a plane for seven hours. That wasn’t going to be pleasant. “Why do people drink?” he wondered aloud.

Yuri snorted. “Ask Katsuki.”

“Sorry for ruining your night,” JJ said. He was a little hazy on what had happened, but he probably hadn’t been good company. “Hey, Otabek, did you sleep here, too?”

“He had to, to help me babysit you!” Yuri said. But even squinting at the bright light, JJ could see both of them blushing.

“...Right. Well, thanks for taking care of me. That was really nice of you both.”

“Stop being gross,” Yuri said. “You’re making me regret it already.”

“You should eat those,” Otabek suggested, throwing the crackers he’d bought the night before at him. “And drink more water.”

The crackers actually did look pretty appealing. JJ put one in his mouth, but it was way too dry to chew. He ended up washing it down with water.

“You guys didn’t tell anyone about this, did you?” he asked after swallowing. “Because my parents would flip, and Isabella…”

“It’s fine,” Yuri said curtly. “I told you yesterday, we’re not snitches.”

“You did?” Yuri just rolled his eyes. “Thanks again, then. I guess I should be going.” He got up and put his clothes back on, ruined though they were. Then he chugged the rest of his water. “Thanks for helping out the King!” he said. He flashed his signature-JJ-finger-sign at them. “See you guys at Worlds.”

“Oh my god, get the fuck out of here!” Yuri chased him out the door, JJ laughing as he slammed it behind him. He leaned against it for a second before heading back to his own room. Last night hadn’t gone as planned, but if it was supposed to be about bonding with other skaters, he supposed it had been a success.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at kyrstin.tumblr.com.


End file.
